I have this lovely New Year tradition, wherein I talk to my very best friend of all time.
Okay, I suppose it's not a tradition if I've only talked to her on New Year one time, and this year it took seven days for me to call her. But in my heart I talk to her on New Year's Day.
She's the one person I want to start my New Year with. Whenever I talk to her, I see the world more clearly, with more hope, and with a sense of belonging. She centers me. And more importantly she makes me laugh.
Last year on New Year's Day I told her that the book I'm working on would be finished this year.
This year I have the same, exact goal.
Then I realized that I had the same goal three years ago.
And the same four years ago.
This made me feel real shit, ya'll.
So, I'm doing the hard work of trying to figure out why something that's been on the top of my priority list hasn't been completed sooner.
And then it hit me hard, kind of like Sir Dexter Augustus's serious gastrointestinal issues today:
My work hasn't been a priority.
Mind you in the last four years, I've been working on a script and finished a draft of another novel, so I'm not saying that I haven't written my little fingers numb. But bringing my work to a conclusion has been a bit elusive.
But why? What the hell have I been doing with my time?
Ah, yes. For four years - READ FOUR YEARS - I've been in the mode of establishing a family and a secure home. I've been focused so much on the dating, the engagement, the wedding, the marriage, the house, the establishing, that I've given less time to the work than I've been telling myself I had.
And this truth bomb - like Dexter Augustus's pungent breath - it's a good thing guys.
Everything I've ever wanted is in these walls - a loving, stable family and a place I do feel as safe and secure as a 5' tall, 115 pound human could.
Realizing that what I've wanted so desperately for so long has come to this grand fruition, greater than my wildest dreams, I'm good with being a bit delayed on the writing front.
But now all of that is settled, and I can truly see that my priority can come into getting these projects finished. These books are on the cusp, and I'm so excited to see the structures really come together. And if God, if quantum physics, if love has taken my deepest desire and made it into a reality, what else can He do for another desire - like creating great work?
I do know many, many of my friends come to me with the hopes and the frustrations that come with being an artist. The missed chances, the incomplete projects, the edits that take too long... and I guess I would ask: can you say that your work has truly been your priority?
And if it hasn't been, can you be okay with that until it's time to shift it back again? There are more important things in life than art. Not much, but a bit. Family, God, Health and Charity. If you've been focused on any of these things instead of your work, I hope you find some comfort there.
But now get your ass back to work. You've got some shit to do and the world needs your brilliance.